industrial gothic electronic

The War Against Sleep

This was the first album that we recorded in our own Wooden Horse Studio, just after our relocation to Hamburg. It also marked the return of Andy Booth to the fold, after an absence of a couple of years while he was learning to be a music biz lawyer.

We had always wanted to make a sort of big budget pop album but basically never had a big budget to do it with, but on WAS we tried to do something like it anyway. I had also just gone through a rather traumatic romantic relationship, as I think is obvious from the song lyrics. This is in many ways the most honest of all the CX albums, although in many ways it’s also the most flawed. The songs are wonderful, but I cringe when I hear the production, I really wish I could do it all again.

It was a great shock to me after the album came out to be accused that the album was a cynical attempt at a sell-out chart album – nothing could be further from the truth. I would finish each day’s studio work in tears during this album, it was so heartrending for me. If you listen carefully you can hear me sobbing sometimes while I’m trying to sing… Why the hell am I telling you this anyway?

The Gnostic Christmas EP was a limited edition 3″ CD given away free with the first 3333 copies of the War Against Sleep CD. I love Xmas songs, and it seemed like a cool idea at the time. The songs are all based on experiences of mine after I joined Ordo Templi Orientis. Now you know…

Credits: Dr. Adder was inspired by the book of the same name by K. W. Jeter. It was also inspired in a roundabout way by my good friend Isabelle from Sabotage Q.C.Q.C. Why? was kinda inspired by The Genocides by Thomas M. Disch, a truly depressing (but brilliant) novel.


What Can I Do For You?

The last thing you did before you went away
You built a bonfire of our dreams, made it a holiday
You filled it with pain, you filled it with champagne
Said goodbye darling, said never again

What can I do for you, that you haven’t done for me?
What can I do, what can I do for you?

Your broke your heart running after me
Then nearly broke your legs running to be free
I treated your vision with polite derision
Love turned into lust, trust became suspicion

What can I do for you, that you haven’t done for me?
What can I do, what can I do for you?


Dr. Adder

I got the tape that you sent me, it was tied up with ribbon
Lots of scenes of sacrifice and people in prison
I threw it in the trash, it looked much better that way
I like what you got baby, but I don’t like what you’re giving

Give me what I want, give me what I need
Give me everything, I’m going to make you bleed

I’m having a party with two junkie whores
They smile at me sweetly, thy say give me some more
So I tie them together and they start to get mad
Please come back Dr. Adder, we need you real bad

Give me what I want, give me what I need
Give me everything, I’m going to make you bleed

Personal sacrifice, personal gain
We feel our humanity when we feel our pain

Give me what I want, give me what I need
Give me everything, I’m going to make you bleed

I’m tired of living on suppressants, I don’t want my hands tied
I want to open up your body and see what’s inside
I’ll tie you to the telephone, I’ll tie you to the wall
I want to see what life is, I want to have it all

Give me what I want, give me what I need
Give me everything, I’m going to make you bleed


And You Say

I don’t need you any more
I don’t need the heartache you bring
But what I want and what I get
That’s two different things, that’s two different things
And you say
I thought we had a relationship
And you say
I thought you love me
Well I’ve heard this question before
and I hate to answer it
Of course I love you baby
But that’s not really what you’re asking
Is it, is it?
And you say
Why can’t we talk about this?
And you say
Why can’t you express your feelings?
Well all I’ve got to say is…
And you say
This isn’t enough
And you say
I want more
Well we all want more
That’s nothing new
More of everything
More and faster – faster, faster
And you say
Why aren’t you satisfied?
And you say
You can’t have everything
Well why not?
That’s what it’s there for
It’s a great big world
There’s plenty to round, there’s plenty to go round
And you say
And you say
And you say
and you say, and you sa, and you say, and you say
Well I guess that’s about it
There’s nothing left to say
Well it doesn’t really matter what you say baby
‘Cause I ain’t listening anymore
It’s completely and utterly pointless
Well, you can say anything you want baby
‘Cause you say nothing


Why?

I saw my father die when I was six years old
I saw him kiss my mother with his last breath
I saw my mother die two hours later
Crushed by the weight of the soldier that raped her

Why is the world like it is?

They took me away, gave me a gun
Told me to shoot my friends, do it or starve
They raped my sister, then I raped my sister
It wasn’t funny at the time

Why is the world like it is

So we went to the jungle and painted our faces
Found the old temples, found the old gods
We worshipped them animals, worshipped them with helicopters
We worshipped them with people, we built a sausage machine

Why is the world like it is?

You come from the city, what do you know of our gods?
You’ve never seen blood, you never seen happiness
You’ve never known freedom., you’ll never be free
Till you die

Why is the world like it is?


She Loves Me

You said write me a letter, so here it is
A rather public way to send you a kiss
I never loved someone the way that I love you
That’s a cliché because it’s true – there’s nothing else to say

She love me, but I love someone else
And the someone I love, loves someone else
And the someone she loves, loves someone else
And the someone he loves, loves someone else
And live goes on, life goes on
And on and on

This morning I sat in the shower for half an hour
To hide my tears from you, but it didn’t work
There’s no time left for metaphors, there’s no time left to lose
Our world is sinking, but I still love you

She loves me, but I love someone else
And the someone I love, loves someone else
And the someone she loves, loves someone else
And the someone he loves, loves someone else
And live goes on, life goes on
And on and on

She loves me
Doesn’t she


When Love Comes

I’ve been lonely since I was a child
I always needed someone, someone to love
but love’s so hard to find in a small town
You sit and wait, and hope and pray
For love to come around
And then you came
You walked into town and kissed me
And I thought that I had died and gone to heaven

When love comes, when love comes
When love comes to town

When love comes to town it seems to last forever
But it can’t last, you went away
But I still see you everywhere, I still see you every day
When love comes, when love comes to town

When love comes

Why can’t it be like it was before
We had no money, but we had fun
Lying awake all night long
Listen to the radio, it’s playing our song

When love comes


Tell Me

Love is blind, but I’m learning sign language
Love is blind, but I’m learning to see
Learning to be what you want me to be
Learning to be all that you need
I was brought up to believe in love
I was brought up to believe in everything
And I do, every time I see you
I believe nothing else is true

Tell me, tell me all that you want from me
Tell me, tell me all that you need from me
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you

Love is blind, I wish I could see
What’s in you mind, when you look at me
If love is blind, then understand me please
Why it took so long for me to see

Tell me, tell me all that you want from me
Tell me, tell me all that you need from me
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you

I woke up last night, looked like the sky was on fire
I kissed your lips, watched the flames grow higher
You are my sky, you are my funeral pyre
All that exists is all you desire

Tell me, tell me all that you want from me
Tell me, tell all that you need from me
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you

Tell me, I’ll be right there for you
Tell me, I’ll be right there for you


Lullaby For The First Baby Born In Outer Space

Sleep baby, get away from it all
Sleep baby, get away from this world
The Goddess of the night watches over you
The Goddess of the night watches you
Someday you’ll grow up, you’ll be just like her
Someday you’ll grow up and come back to Earth
Someday you’ll grow up, and you’ll be different
You’ll be different

Sleep baby, build up your strength
You’ll need it when the pull of gravity is in your veins
You’ll need it when you grow up strong
Strong as the stars, strong as the stars
For someday, someday you’ll group up
And you’ll be different

You have no passport, you have no papers
You’re a citizen of the next world
You are white, you are black
You are everything that we’re dreaming of
And someday, someday you’ll grow up
And you’ll be different

So sleep baby, and dream for us
Dream for us


Lakeside

I’m lying here, in the dark, in the cold
Down by the lakeside
And I’m thinking about you, I’m thinking of you
How I wish you were here, I wish you were here
Why did you leave me, why did you leave me?
And I fall back, and I see the start
They’re so close I could touch them
But I can’t touch you, I can’t touch you
As the water closes in, I feel like I’m wrapped in your arms
Your cold wet arms, your cold wet arms
And the wind blows
The water speak, beckons me closer
Rich dark deeps, lonely sky
Lonely skies
But I’m safe in your arms, I’m safe in your arms
Your cold wet arms
I wish you were here, I wish you were here,
To see me die, to die with me
So I’ll kiss you one more time, like I kiss the waves
As they close themselves around me
And I sink into the night
And the blood blossoms in my eyes
And my only thoughts are of you
And I kiss you
Kiss you
Kiss you
Kiss you


GNOSTIC CHRISTMAS E.P.

Sophia

You opened your heart to me at Christmas time
Revealed your secrets, made you mine
You touched my heart, you touched my soul
Made me pure, made me whole
You gave me whine, you gave me bread
Took all my fears, gave me hope instead
You are my dreams, you are my prayers
Sophia
Sophia
And it’s Christmas every day in the New Aeon
Christmas in our hearts, Christmas in our hearts
Cold hands, warm hearts
We will never be apart
Sophia
Sophia
And in our Christmas we will worship life
We will make new life
Sophia
I will be with you, I will be with you
This Christmas, this Christmas
And it’s Christmas every day in the New Aeon
Christmas in our hearts, Christmas in our hearts
Warm hearts, cold hands
Touch me and understand
It’s Christmas – every day


Children

You say that God is dead
But you’re still wearing him on your chest
You say that God is dead
But he’s still living in your head
You’re in love with the dark, but scared of the shadows
You’re scared of yourself, you’re scared of yourself
You body is growing, you body is changing
The evil’s coming out from inside your heart
You were taught it in school, so it much be the truth
You were taught it in school, it’s part of your youth
You’re not innocent, you’re ignorant
Why don’t you try to learn something?
Why don’t you learn something?
You put nails in a man, you think that it’s good
I don’t understand, I don’t think that I should
Crosses aren’t nice, they’re weapons of pain
But I still see you war them again and again
You’re not innocent, you’re ignorant
Why don’t you try to learn something?
Why don’t you learn something?
God isn’t dead, he’s living inside you
God isn’t dead, he’s living inside
In your eyes, in your smile
In your breasts, in your penis
God isn’t dead, he’s living inside
Listen, children
Listen, my children
Deus est homo

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